Wedding Ceremony Music with Alan Chitlik – E106

Welcome everybody to the Wedding Songs Podcast. I am Matt Campbell. Today, have you ever had difficulty picking out music for your ceremony?

Well, today I have Alan Chitlik all the way from Puget Sound DJ in Seattle. Welcome to the show, Alan. Thank you, Matt. Awesome. Thanks for being on the show.

Memorable Wedding Moments

If we’re going to be talking about wedding ceremonies, why don’t you tell everybody a little bit about your most memorable wedding moment? Well, I guess I would start to answer that just generally, as a DJ, you have a front-row seat to the dance floor and at literally every wedding, there’s at least one moment where I look out and something transcendent is going on either during the first dance or one of the parent dances or when the couple is just enjoying the heck out of themselves.

I just, my heart gets full every time I see one of those. But if you want a specific one, I’ll give you one from this summer. The couple met because the groom’s mother was terminally ill, and went to the hospital, The, bride was one of their nurses, and so they were in the hospital together. They didn’t talk all that much, but before they were about to, the mom passed away.

He sent her a note because she wasn’t working that day and said, I’ve really appreciated your care. Perhaps I can see you sometime. And she answered it, and they did, and they started dating, and they went out, and obviously, because I was DJing their wedding, they got married. But it was really emotional that they were drawn together, because of his mom, and she couldn’t physically be there.

So for the mother-son dance, he chose to dance with his father. He danced with him to Tupelo Honey, which mentions an angel, which was for Jane, his mom. and then they started and they were just clutching on each other and really having an important emotional moment. And then all of a sudden, about halfway through the Aunts started to come in and some of the other families started to come in and they just had this cathartic, emotional group moment.

I was looking at that and I’ll just never forget it. It was just such a touching way to remember her and how they all came to be there that day. You’re giving me goosebumps. Oh, man, a very, very touching moment. I think that’s important what you just described because not every wedding is the father, daughter, the mother son, there’s so many scenarios where whatever that may be, you do need music for those moments.

And I love that. They picked out Tupelo Honey for their dance because it really like you said, it really described their moment in time.

Yeah, and I think one of the things that you do a great job is having alternatives. having a mother-stepson dance or whatever the situations call for. You’ve thought many of those through that I think a lot of DJs will have a mother-son list and a father-daughter list, but you’ve got a whole bunch of all the different scenarios. Exactly what you’re saying. Yeah, I’m creating a list for the uncle niece, or the bride to dance for their uncle because there are just so many scenarios. It’s not all cut and dry. Yeah. Cool.

About Alan Chitlik of Puget Sound DJ

Well, can you tell everybody a little bit about you and your company? Sure. I am a Seattle-based DJ. I do some corporate events, but my heart and my passion are really in weddings. I did my first wedding a long time ago, but in terms of being serious about it, about 13, or 14 years, and I just still love it. I just, enjoy meeting with the couples, getting to know them, and helping them plan out all of the elements of it, including the music.

Wedding Soundtrack

To me, it’s an important part of the day. It’s the soundtrack and it’s really fun to help guide couples. With whatever they need to help select songs that are going to reflect their personalities. I love how you said that reflects their personality because music is such a great way to incorporate your personality into your wedding day.

Absolutely. And there are different places most people when they think of wedding music. I think you’ll agree with this. Think about the dance music. Because that’s the sexy thing, that celebration, and the party. But there are so many opportunities, the prelude for the ceremony, the dinner, and the cocktails.

There are so many opportunities to play other music that really can set a tone for the day. I just enjoy trying to think about each couple and their tastes. I love it when a couple will share their Spotify lists with me and I can understand. What artists do they like or genres and make some suggestions or just create some playlists for them that feel like them? I love that.

Speaker Location

Can you tell everybody where the speakers should be located for the ceremony? Should they be at the front, at the back, or on the side? I think different DJs are gonna have different answers to that. For me, I prefer to set up in the back. I just want to be out of the way of any photos.

if I am having any challenges and maybe I look stressed, I don’t want anybody to see me. And then having speakers in the back, really prevents feedback, at least for me. So that’s generally where I set up. I understand. People who want to set speakers up near the front. So the sound is coming that way and it seems more natural in general as I’ve sound-checked.

I feel like people just want to be able to hear they want to hear the vows. They want it to be. Loud enough, they want it to be clear and I feel like for me, I’ve got a system that helps do that.

Ceremony Microphones

Speaking of that, how are you having a microphone for the officiant and them doing their vows? Do you have special microphones for that? That’s a great question. I use two microphones up there. for, a wedding with a groom and a bride, I’ll usually put one on the officiant and then one on the groom, and they are lapel mics. I use Sennheisers, but other people could use Shure or EV or any of the high-quality ones.

And for me, that helps me get the best sound because an officiant is usually going to be used to projecting and they are going to be able to speak in a way that I can have the volume here, but a couple is often nervous and so I need to turn theirs up to get their vows and it is easier for me to have The volume turning up on the groom’s microphone, then sometimes trying to do it back and forth. If the officiant is asking them to repeat the vows or what have you, and then you gotta go like that and then you gotta go like that.

And I just don’t think that’s as, smooth. For me, the ceremony sound is literally the main thing that still gets me nervous. About a wedding because it is one shot. I can recover from anything else. If I lost power during the toasts or the first dance, I could literally say to the guests.

We have a technical issue, and I’ll be back in a few minutes when we solve that, and it will be okay. It would not be the first thing that anybody would remember about that wedding. But if a couple is doing their vows, And it’s kind of like this, I can’t hear you, I’m sorry. yOu got the one chance, and if you blow it, you blow it, and you can’t recover from it.

So, I do everything I can to try to make that go smoothly and make sure all the guests can hear everything. That’s why a lot of DJs won’t do ceremonies because of the amount of pressure, we’ve said this before on prior episodes where it’s one shot all in, my chips are all in.

And if it goes exactly what you said, if it goes awry, it’s not a good thing. And everybody’s recording it. I remember a time when I messed up the introductions into the hall where I had time after that when the party was jamming oh, yeah, you messed that up, but we had such a great time.

It was awesome. It actually calmed us because you messed up and we were so nervous. The other advantage to having the two mics up there for me is that I’ve got a backup. You know, both of these mics are omnidirectional, so they’d pick up all three of those people just fine.

And if there’s an occasion where something happens, if there’s interference with the Groom’s mic could do it all. I even had one this summer that was like that, it was a little bit of user error on the officiant mic, and that happened to be mine. but I diagnosed it and I just made sure that the groom’s mic was high enough.

Not one person noticed that MIC was able to pick up everything. I think that’s a little gold nugget for the DJs that are listening to have those on their own separate channels and to have that backup. I love that. One other thing that I’ve done for my ceremony sound, is I have a fin, which is an antenna that looks like a fin.

It’s called RF Venue and I got it at NLFX Pro. it’s not cheap. I think it’s like 600 bucks now, but it’ll virtually eliminate any unexplained dropouts. Instead of just having a shorter antenna for that microphone receiver that I have in the back, it’s got this big, powerful fin.

They use it at concerts, things like that. And it’s been great and it gives me a lot of confidence and I take it in and during the reception, I use it for toast as well. Another great tip. Awesome. Talking about more tips then, like we were saying, there are no retakes for the ceremonies.

Precautions For A Smooth Ceremony

What type of precautions do you take to try and make sure everything goes on without a hitch? I think those are some of the main things that I do just having a backup microphone, making sure that the sound is amplified and definitely, I test it when I set up for the ceremony.

I have a whole full sound system for the ceremony. and then when I test that in advance, I go to the farthest seats. From the speaker or speakers and test, how does this sound? Okay. Does this sound? Okay. Then from a music source, I use iPads for my music and I always have two of those as well. So if anything ever happened to one of them, I’ve got the other source just queued up and I can hit that recessional or processional song and make sure that It gets played.

Ceremony Sound System

I’m just thinking on the DJ side, then you said you had your own system there. Do you have your own system set up at the ceremony and then your own system set up at the reception? Yeah. Yeah. I just. can’t imagine having to pause everything, and then break it down, and then set it up again. So yeah, when that, prelude music starts before the ceremony, I like to be all set up for the reception, for the cocktail, and for the ceremony.

I’m guessing you have somebody there helping you to tear down the one while you’re working the other, or how does that work? In general, I do work more alone than with, an assistant, my ceremony setup is not that complex. I’ve got the microphones, I’ve got a mixer, I’ve got my music sources, and then one or two speakers.

So, I am able, during cocktail hour, to sort of pack all that up and move that. 15 minutes maybe. Yeah, because everybody’s going to be moving from one to the other anyway, and you can have music playing in the background at the reception. One other tip you, mentioned making sure that things go smoothly.

Officiant Communication

I definitely like to have a conversation with the officiant. There are a few things that I really want to know, as far as the beginning, when is the first time that the officiant wants to be heard? so that I know that I can start their microphone at that time, and then I want to discuss whether they have an interest in that kind of announcement, please turn off your phones, or that kind of thing.

If they are going to be in the processional, I will sometimes recommend that I turn the prelude music down. They make that announcement from the back and invite. The guests stop their phones. Then I’ll hit play on the first processional song, and then they can start the processional.

They can come out to that music. Other officiants want to be up in front and make that announcement from the front. That’s great too, but I just want to know so that I can coordinate all that. Then I want to confirm with them their end. I want to make sure that they don’t introduce the couple and then say, and now you may kiss or, now here’s a prayer or something like that.

Because I think the best, order involves doing those things first. Introducing the couple and then immediately hitting play on that recessional song, because for me, that recessional moment is huge. You’re just getting introduced and it makes for great pictures. People coming down the aisle and there’s an upbeat song playing.

And I don’t want to screw up the timing of that moment, by not understanding how the officiant is going to present it. There are two things I’m reminded of. One is teamwork. There’s so much teamwork in what goes into a wedding. The second, it’s so funny you said that because I interviewed Maria Romano, who’s an officiant, and she said that exact same thing.

Her biggest issue that she has at every wedding is when to stop that music when she wants to first get started. So having that conversation before the ceremony is so important. Yeah, because she says that’s the first time that everybody hears her and she wants to make sure that people can hear her.

Yeah, even from the DJ world There’s a school of thought that that first time you address the guests at the reception and they call it a welcome often, is is critical for you to establish rapport with your guests and I’m Sure, that’s the same with an officiant if you want to come across, and get that attention of those guests for the ceremony.

Sure. You should be well heard and you should be able to then take that momentum for the rest of the ceremony. Great tips. I’m going to sidestep a little bit. Because I know that there’s a lot of ceremonies that happen in parks and outside and I’m sure they happen that way in Seattle.

No Electricity

What are some of the things that you’re doing for the places that have absolutely no electricity? Do you have battery-powered speakers? How do couples get sound at a park that has no electricity? Sure. I think there are basically two approaches that most DJs have. One is to go all battery-powered.

and that would include your speakers, your microphones, and, your music sources, all of that kind of stuff. And I think There are people that, especially if you’re doing beach weddings or something like that, you probably have that kind of system. Another is simply to have some sort of battery power that you can plug your electric things into.

I think that’s also a very viable approach. It allows you to use the equipment that you have selected, and then you still have some electricity there. I have sort of a hybrid approach. My main ceremony speaker is the EV, E verse 8, which is battery-powered and has a very cool feature that it has an output to power your microphone receiver.

Then it has multiple inputs so you can literally plug your microphones into there, your music source into there. And you’re good. In my case, I do still like to have a mixer. I like the ergonomics of looking at the couple, listening to what adjustments need to be made, and making that on a mixer.

So in my case, I have a little battery that I just bring for my mixer and that helps me get by anything. I want to dispel some people that may be worried. Couples are thinking the gas power generators that are extremely loud.

Power Sources

Can you at least dispel those challenges that couples may be thinking in their head, Oh, my gosh, I don’t want this loud generator in the back. During my ceremony, I think that’s valid. I think that a generator is potentially overkill for a ceremony. Even if you do all electric equipment, you probably don’t need a full-blown generator to power that.

The general solution I think that some people would use if they did choose to use a generator for the ceremony is to have a hundred-foot extension cord. And then you can really put that generator pretty far out. have it going and your sound implication is not going to be that great. For me, I’ve seen a lot of people promote, small battery-powered, they’re not generators.

There’s a brand called Jackery, which is very popular. To be honest, I use something by Ryobi. They have rechargeable batteries that I literally use for some of my outdoor power tools, but they also have a gadget that turns that into a power outlet. And that has been terrific for me and no noise on any of that. Another great tip.

Ceremony Music Planning Process

Let’s get more into the music then. What type of music are you playing for the Prelude as guests arrive? Sure. Well, let me start by telling you about my overall planning process with couples and their ceremony music. If it is a couple with a bride and a groom, I like to start the ceremony music planning with what the bride is coming down the aisle to.

For me, that’s the highlight of this section of the day and the music, and I want to make sure that it’s a song that the bride likes and is comfortable with, and then I tend to work backward. I want to find a processional song for everybody else. that matches that, or at least feels coordinated to that, and then I like to build out the prelude songs from those things.

So that in the end, everything from when people come and sit down until the bride is up in front feels coordinated. You know, I sometimes will say, Tracy Chapman and Bach and Frank Sinatra can all have their place in a ceremony or in a processional, but not together, if a bride picks.

An instrumental, that’s probably the more popular path these days. and you and I can review some of the popular artists, vitamin string quartet, pretty much sets the standard, but there’s Brooklyn Duo, there’s Piano Guys, there’s the O’Neill Brothers, and there are others that I’m probably not even remember, but there’s a lot of great choices.

Right, so if they start with instrumental, I am going to try and find a song that matches that and maybe is a notch below in energy, because I want that build-up to her coming out. I don’t want the processional song for everybody else. To be here, and then it feels like a reduction when she comes out.

Then depending on what that instrumental was, I’ll try to match that. So if it was strings, if it was violin, if it was piano, guitar, whatever those kinds of things are, I’ll try and get some instrumentals that sort of match that. If they want some lyrics, like, people still, come down to Marry Me, people, still come down to Christina Perri’s version of A Thousand Years, if they like the vocals, then I’ll probably play mostly vocals, I would call it adult alternative, but you can call whatever, I’ll play some Jason Mraz, or Sarah Bareilles or, or Colbie Caillat as guests are being seated, and then proceed on with the songs that the bride has chosen.

And then for a same-sex marriage, I mean, the options are just way more wide open because they can enter in so many different ways. Brides could come out with their own parents. They can come and meet in the middle and come out together. and the same thing with grooms they can obviously do anything like that.

So, that can be really fun too, to help brainstorm songs for them that again, reflect their personalities and allow them to just feel real comfortable and fun when they come out. I love how you kind of theme the music. So that way it’s more cohesive. I was thinking to myself, okay, you’re going to have Keenan Grannis’s version of Can’t Help Falling in Love, which is an acoustic.

So now, like you’re saying, you’re working your way back. Now you’re thinking in that mindset of what are other acoustic songs that I could play that kind of match that. And I think that that’s really important for couples to understand. Even if you’re going to have a song for everybody that comes down the aisle, you’re going to have one for the flower girl or the flower person, or you’re going to have one for the bridal party or the bridesmaids and the groomsmen.

However, you’re going to have to play that music. And as long as it’s cohesive, I think that’s such an important tip because you don’t want to like you were saying, you don’t want to have Bach to Tracy Chapman. It’s just people are going to be startled by that.

Why did you pick that? I read recently, a comment by Scott Faber, who you probably are familiar with, and I have ultimate respect for. And he was actually suggesting a little bit of an opposite strategy where somebody is going to come down with vocals to play instrumental until that song because then that song stands out more.

And you know what? That makes a lot of sense too. But everybody’s going to bring their personal, approach. I will say one thing that I’ve done a few times over the last two summers, is the flower dudes, coming in I really like to play Come and Get Your Love if there’s nothing else that they suggest because I think that’s just a great song to strut to, and they can really play up.

You know, throw out those flowers. I think some people consider it cliche or not that interesting or whatever, but every time I’ve done it, it’s been a big hit. I love that song. And that’s a great tip for the flower dude. Love it.

Processional & Recessional Music

So what type of music are you playing for the recessionals then as they have the I do’s, they kiss and then they’re leaving? Playlist is probably one of my favorites because it’s all fun, positive, upbeat music. I still believe in Sign, Seal, Delivered.

This is the best day of my life. There’s a lot of just classic upbeat songs that I think work really well there. One thing that I always recommend that I do if a couple’s got one in mind is identify the big spot. If the song has 26 seconds of instrumental, I don’t want to play that.

I want the officiant to introduce that couple, and then I want to start that song hard. I want it to really hit right where it’s going to hit. because then that couple can just bring their energy down the aisle. and you have a great list on your website of recessional songs that are kind of traditional and classical and many people have suggested them and then tried this instead.

I think that’s a great resource for couples to sort of look at and see if anything floats their boat there. Thank you. I’m going to actually play on that when you’re saying queuing up the music, I think that that’s really important as well when you are going to have a reveal of one of the partners walking down the aisle.

So like when the doors open, you don’t have to play it right from the beginning, the doors open, it’s going to be a little lackluster. Whereas if you have that cue point of, okay, at 32 seconds in, this is when you’re going to open the doors, at that dramatic moment in the song. I think one mistake that some couples make is trying to over-choreograph that moment.

They have a vision about where in the lyrics they want to be up in the front and you just don’t know. You don’t know if it’s going to take 55 seconds or 65 seconds for you to get up to the front. And so what I recommend to couples, I’ll start it. I’ll start a processional song like that wherever you want.

But in general, I want them to go up and take their time and have a good walk. But when they’re there, I just want to fade that out. I don’t want that awkward 10 more seconds where people are standing around and just the guests don’t know what to look at. The couple’s like, Oh, well, I guess the music’s still playing.

Then I guess I maybe should have mentioned this with the processional as well. In most cases, my weddings have one song. For pretty much the officiant, the groom, the family wedding party to get up to. What I typically do, I will take that song I will use my audio editing program, and double or triple it to eliminate the end.

I’ll eliminate the beginning and merge them so that it. Seems very seamless, but what that allows me to do is hit play before the first person comes up and everybody can then just come in at their own pace. And if there’s somebody who’s taking a long time to walk in or the flower girl is dilly-dallying, hopefully, it’s still cute.

I’m not going to run out of song or just do that awkward thing where you restart it and it’s very obvious to everyone. And I think one of the things that does is gives a couple peace of mind that they don’t have to worry about any of that. Everybody can just walk in at their own pace. I think that’s a very good tip because I see a lot of brides on the boards asking, how many songs do I need for walking down the aisle?

Most people say, well, it depends on how far you’re walking. And if you’re telling them that, that. We’re going to play this song. It’s going to be seamless, however long you need to walk down the aisle, a lot of people are nervous. They’re going to be walking faster than they may think, even during practice, because when the spotlight’s on them, Oh my gosh, let me just get through this.

I think that that’s a great tip for melding that song to whatever time you need for them walking down the aisle and going back to recessional. I want to give you 1 other suggestion that I 100 percent stole from Peter Mary, where he plays a few seconds. Of the classical, Felix Mendelssohn.

And then he scratches in the actual recessional song. So it’s bum, bum, bum, dum, dum, dum. I feel good. And. It fakes out the guests. It gives everybody a good laugh and the couples, the couples enjoying it too. Like that, it’s not for everyone, but for some couples that are looking for something different, that has proven to be pretty fun.

And as we always say, as DJs, the recessional is the starter for what’s about to come. So if you’re going to have that fun, that’s going to tell everybody we’re going to have a fun reception. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Walking Down The Aisle

Are both partners walking down the aisle on their own or are they separating and then having their own songs? What are you seeing more of? I still find that most of the grooms participate in the processional, what I would call the first processional. sometimes. I would advise grooms to come in with the officiant if they know them. other times grooms want to come in with a parent or parents. other times they can just walk, in by themselves.

But in general, I have found that grooms typically are still walking in as part of whatever processional song the couple’s chosen. I find that brides are still going to be the last ones, in most cases. Generally the dad’s part of that. Often, I see more and more brides bringing in the moms as well, and I love that because I feel like here are two parents that raised you.

There’s something patriarchal about the My dad is bringing me in and my dad is going to give me away. I love, both parents coming in. and I’ve seen other brides who have had multiple male influencers in their lives, usually a dad and a stepdad. And sometimes somebody brings them in.

Halfway or to the back and then the other person takes them all the way up. And I think that’s a really nice way to handle that as well. I love that. It reminds me of even the father-daughter dance where one will cut in halfway through. Even having that at the ceremony, just personalizes their relationships. Yeah, I completely agree.

Unity Ceremony

Are there other moments of the ceremony that you’re playing music, such as the unity ceremony? I have found that that has declined quite a bit, of late. I don’t find as many unity ceremonies, as there had been. And in general, when I talk to couples about it.

Even if they’re having one, I think they generally prefer to let that moment stand on its own. I have often found that If you’re doing a water ceremony or sand ceremony or something like that, it can feel forced to play 25 seconds of a song. It’s like, you know, I, I know all of our attention spans are shorter now, but people can still absorb 25 seconds and watch, watch a couple make whatever unity device they choose. Speaking of the unity ceremony, do you see any symbolisms of two things coming to one or joining of, two things into one, for that ceremony? I still think that the dominant one is probably sand.

I think that’s nice. Although I often will share with a couple, you are now committing to keep this in your possession for the rest of your lives. Because you can’t throw away your wedding sand ceremony vase. but I’ve seen people come together to do plants and maybe plant a tree or something like that.

Maybe the most unique I had a couple of years ago was a wedding where The groom was amazingly skilled at yo-yos. Like he could just do it like crazy, and the bride was a fan of that, but she wasn’t really skilled about it anyway. So their unity, ceremony, part of it was that he did a routine that involved her, but she didn’t really have to do much.

She just put her finger where it was supposed to go and then, it all flowed. But it was a great way in my opinion for them to show that, part of their personalities. Like you said, then they have to hang on to that yo-yo forever.

Music Planning Tips

Do you have any tips for couples that are planning music for their wedding ceremony? Overall, I think the starting point is just a little bit about what speaks to you and, what genres you like, I find. Some people are self-described geeks, and you know, maybe in your case, some science fiction soundtracks, might be appropriate.

I know that many people enjoy country music, especially people who are getting married outdoors. That seems to be pretty popular. So start there. You know, there’s a nice series called Hitched, I think, which is instrumental versions of a lot of country songs. it’s not very well, publicized, but Martina McBride has a version of Marry Me that she does with, Pat Monaghan from Train that’s beautiful.

And if you like country and you like that song, I mean, that’s perfect. so, Figure out what genre you like, and then you can sort of start to narrow from within that. I have on my Spotify, I believe 10 different ceremony processional song categories. By far my most popular is called, pop instrumental pop covers, which is a lot of what we talked about before the vitamin string quartet and stuff.

But you know, look through those and one of the things that I’ll sometimes try to do is if I know there’s a key element later, or if I know there’s dance songs that the couple really likes, or heavy metal that the couple really likes, but can’t really dance to too much of it. I’ll see if there are some vitamin string quartet versions of those songs and play those in the prelude.

I don’t know if anybody’s ever gonna, catch the foreshadowing and recall back to that, but it’s fun for me, to be able to play. Or it depends on how stringent the location of the ceremony is, who’s to say that you can’t play that as one of them walks down the aisle, it’s their wedding and, you know,

is there anything else that we didn’t talk about today that, that you think that we should have wIth regard to ceremonies? I feel like we covered a lot. I do just want to say out loud, you are filling an amazing role for couples and honestly, for DJs to synthesize all the information that you do.

I mean, you are by far the country’s leading musicologist. You know, your passion for all of this just comes through so well on your website and in your newsletter. So I definitely respect the heck out of what you do. and I love seeing your emails and, and your lists and coming up with new ideas based on what I see there.

Well, thank you very much. I know that you do that for your couples as well. So I’m glad I can inspire you to create your list too. Thank you.

Contact Alan and Puget Sound DJ

Where can people find you and reach out to you that are in the Pacific Northwest? That’s great. My website is pugetsounddj.com and most people here will know how to spell it, but it’s P U G E T, pugetsounddj.com. and that’s probably the best way to get to me. You are correct. I do also have a lot of playlists, that I share with. anybody, not just my couples. and that’s on Spotify. so if you search for me there, Alan Chitlik, C H I T L I K. I think I’ve got more than a hundred playlists. So if any couples want to check those out, I encourage that as well.

Awesome. Well, thank you very much, Alan, for being on the show today. Make sure you stay tuned for our next episode with another wedding pro. Thanks for listening and have a great day.