Hawaiian Weddings with Chavah Grant – E139

Introduction

Welcome, everybody, to the Wedding Songs Podcast. I’m Matt Campbell. Today, we’re going to be talking about Hawaiian weddings, and to help me along is Chavah Grant from Vida Chic Wedding and Events. Welcome to the show, Chavah.

A Heartwarming Wedding Moment

Matt: Thank you. So, let me start off by asking you the way I start off most podcasts: can you provide a heartwarming or memorable wedding moment?

Chavah: Sure. I get the privilege of planning the best day of people’s lives. So I have tons, obviously, probably most planners have tons of heartwarming moments, but I think my favorite is actually one of the girls, one of the brides, the clients that I had. She’s a good friend of mine, even to this day. And her wedding, I think, was eight or nine years ago. Wow. She might be coming up on her 10-year anniversary. But there was a little bit of tension. She didn’t know her mom was actually going to show up to the wedding, and Mom didn’t necessarily care for her significant other.

So, being a mom myself, I talked to the mom and, having seen this problem over and over again, just went and talked to her mom. I said I wanted her to be a part of the planning process. And so I was just there to facilitate that. I kind of came in warm, saying that I was just there to facilitate the planning process and that her daughter definitely wanted her to be a part of it.

I just kind of let her talk through why she was worried about this. And I said, “Mom to mom, you are going to regret not being a part of all this. It’s the only time in your daughter’s lifetime that this is going to happen. So, even though you might have concerns, you’re always going to have concerns because you’re a mom and it’s your daughter, and it doesn’t matter what she’s doing, whether or not she’s going to school or it’s a boyfriend or whatever, you’re always going to have concerns. Don’t let your concerns override this whole experience that you’re only going to be able to have one time.”

And so her mom, not only did she come, she actually walked her daughter down the aisle as well. So she was a really big part of planning. She was really a part of the event, and it was phenomenal. And they, it’s so funny because now, sometimes I’ll go down there for holidays, and her mom and that significant other that she was worried about are like the best of friends now, which is so great to see now, eight, nine, 10 years later. So that was the best for me, just because that was something that kind of trickled into their everyday life, which is the best for any planner, right? Like, that’s the best outcome that could possibly happen. So that is my favorite story to this day, even 10 years later.

Matt: I think that’s a really important thing that you said is to put your beliefs aside, no matter what you think about the marriage. You’re not going to be a part of any of their lives from that day forward if you decide not to be there, and you’re just setting that precedence.

Chavah: Right. Definitely. And tomorrow is not promised, right? I’ve had brides who had their dances with their dad, and then the very next year, even before their first anniversary, their parent wasn’t there anymore. Right? And so it’s, it’s not worth the regret, even if, even if it is a little uncomfortable for you in the moment. The regret for the rest of your life will be way more uncomfortable than anything, any momentary discomfort or whatever. So I try to put that at the forefront when there are situations like that. And nine times out of 10, we get people across the finish line in one piece with that piece of information.

Introducing Chavah Grant

Matt: Before we go any further, then can you just please introduce yourself to our listeners?

Chavah: My name is Chavah Grant. I’m the owner of Vida Chic Weddings and Events. I’ve been doing events since I was 19 years old, and I am 39 now. So I’ve been doing it for a while. I’ve done thousands of events from concerts to conferences to weddings, but weddings just hold a special place in my heart. There’s just a special place in my heart for weddings. And so I leaned into that a couple of years into doing events. I leaned heavily into weddings because I realized that it was that I was a part of one of the five incredible moments in a person’s life. And there’s not many, or there are not many jobs where you can do that, right? Like, you can’t, you get to be like this incredible piece of something that they are going to remember forever and ever and ever.

And so, being very detail-oriented and almost a perfectionist, definitely needed in a profession like this, but it is, I get thousands of those, you know what I mean? Thousands of those once-in-a-lifetime moments that I get to be a part of. So, so yeah, that’s what I do in a nutshell. And that’s, I, like I said, done it for 20 years. So I know a thing or two. I’ve been around the block.

Hawaiian Wedding Traditions

Matt: Well, that’s great. That’s a great lead into our first question. Then let’s talk Hawaiian weddings. What traditions in the Hawaiian culture would you say that you incorporate into weddings?

Chavah: Leis, everyone’s very familiar with leis, right? Even when they, even if you’re not having an event or wedding or whatever, it’s just a cultural, it’s a piece of the culture, and it’s an easy thing to incorporate in several different ways in your wedding. So I love somehow tying that into Hawaiian weddings, whether or not it would be the laying people as they walk in, as you’re greeting people, or if it’s a part of the unity ceremony. I mean, in continental U.S., there’s a lot of unity ceremonies where you are tying the cord or doing the unity candle or things like that. In Hawaii, we like to do that same type of ceremony, but with the leis. So there’s so many ways to incorporate them. There are so many meanings behind different ones. You have the greenery, and you guys probably don’t know the names of, but there are some that are all green that are for men, but there are also some that are certain flowers that have different meanings and things like that. So there’s so many ways to incorporate, but I love, if we are doing a Hawaiian wedding, I love to be able to incorporate that in some, some capacity because not only is it a fun way to bring Hawaii into your wedding, if you’re doing a destination wedding, but also it’s something that you can, it’s a keepsake that you can kind of take away. You can dry them and save them and have them forever. And so unlike a unity candle that you probably, probably put in a box, never see again, or unity candles are very tricky to keep actually, they do not keep well. It’s just, it’s a great piece of memorabilia that you can take with you and have as a keepsake as well. So I, that’s my favorite, my favorite piece to incorporate just because you can incorporate it. It doesn’t matter what type of wedding, if you’re having a wedding, and why there’s a way to incorporate a lei.

Matt: So are there any other cultural rituals besides the lei that you see commonly?

Chavah: There are a lot of Hawaiian blessings that we like to incorporate that are a little bit more that are a little easier to incorporate, even for people that aren’t necessarily religious, right? So those are a lot of court. Cultural blessings are a really great way to, even if you don’t want to do traditional vows or anything like that, those are always nice to kind of incorporate as well. So we do that a lot as well.

Matt: So are there any traditions in music or songs that you commonly see in Hawaiian weddings?

Chavah: People love to walk down the aisle to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” on a ukulele. That’s kind of, that’s my number one request when it comes to music. Actually, one, it’s a story about a musician out there. People play live music everywhere. It’s phenomenal. It’s very, very organic. So there’s a musician that was playing on the street, and a bride just casually walked by and she goes, “Oh my gosh, we have to have him for my wedding.” And so I hadto chase down a musician who she didn’t know the name. I had to figure out what corner he was on. So I ended up chasing down this musician for a couple of months, trying to figure out any friends that were in the area. So I found this musician and, come to find out, two years after that wedding, he ended up playing for the wedding. It was great. But two years after the wedding, I looked at, “Oh my gosh, what is the name of that show?” There’s a, there’s a show on ABC, and his name is Connor. And I was like, “That’s my wedding musician that I had to chase down in the street.”

So, yeah, music in Hawaii, it’s a big part of the culture. And live music, there’s. Almost at every event, there’s some instance where there is a live musician that comes to play, which is very special, as musicians, especially now in the age of TikTok, where everything is so auto-generated almost, and just kind of perpetuating the same thing. It’s so, it’s such a special thing when you do have a live musician that’s able to create something in real life specifically for your group. So I highly encourage live music just ’cause it does, there’s a special touch that comes along with someone playing something specifically for you.

Seasonal Considerations and Island Recommendations

Matt: So when you’re speaking of that, what percentage would you say of the wedding reception is set to that particular culture, the language and versus the popular hip hop that you hear everywhere?

Chavah: I would say in Hawaii, probably eight out of 10 weddings for the cocktail hour. We’ll do live music one because most of the time, if you’re doing a wedding in Hawaii, you’re not in Hawaii for the buildings, right? You’re not there to have everything enclosed and compartmentalized. You’re doing it to enjoy nature, the ocean, the mountains, and different things like that. So having a cocktail hour with live music on the side of a mountain or beside the ocean, is there something magical about that? So probably about 80% of the time, about eight out of 10, we’re doing live music for cocktail hour for sure. And then, if we’re doing late DJs for later on and the hip hop thing, then sometimes that’s incorporated later on, but yeah, for sure. For cocktail hour, lots of brides enjoy it for walking down the aisle for the same reason, right? It’s just, it’s special. It’s a little more magical, right? When you’re walking down the aisle with the ocean as your backdrop to have a live musician playing versus having Mick Jagger playing in the background, so yeah, so I, like I said, I really do just because there are, there’s moments you can’t get back, right? And a live musician, there is something magical that happens that incorporating that into that specific atmosphere, the atmosphere that is Hawaii, the environment that is Hawaii.

Matt: Speaking of the environment, are there any seasonal considerations in Hawaii that affect wedding planning?

Chavah: You know, what’s so interesting is I’ve done weddings all over the planet. I mean, all over the place. And there is very much seasonality and definitely in Europe, the continental U.S. But Hawaii, there is no, there’s no season. It’s the same all year round. The weather is always the same. The only thing that really changes is the water, right? The water gets colder in the winter, but the elements are all the same. The weather is the same. It’s always between 70 and 85. There’s always a nice breeze. Breeze. Everything for the most part is open air, because they, it just the environment just lends itself to be able to have nice, nice weather and open air, open breeze and all that is really nice for, for events.

So there it’s surprising because when I moved there, I’ve been there for about seven years. I was used to there being seasonality, right? Used there to being an engagement season and a heavy wedding season. And, and Hawaii just doesn’t have that. It’s very consistent, and that’s why it is one of the most popular locations, even in the world, not even just in the U.S. It is, I think it’s top three in the U.S. But in the world, we have a lot of Japanese that come over for weddings. And just because the, you can, you can plan it around any day, any time, and you’re, you’re still going to get consistency. So that’s the one good thing about, about Hawaii is that consistency. There’s no, there’s no hurricane season to worry about like Puerto Rico or anything like that. It’s just, it’s very consistent and mild, and the weather’s always perfect. So it’s great for a wedding planner for sure. You have that consistency.

Matt: Are there particular islands that you would recommend over others?

Chavah: It’s very interesting. I didn’t realize before moving there how different the islands are. You would think Hawaii is Hawaii, but Oahu is definitely, there’s a lot more sea city. There’s a lot more hotels. So if you want that indoor-outdoor, more formal hotel type of event, you definitely want to be on Oahu. It has a good mix. One good thing about Oahu is because it is a bigger city and is more accessible, the main, the main island, the main island in terms of infrastructure, there’s a lot of hotels if you’re doing a larger and larger, there is, anything that’s over 50. I know that’s not the case in the U.S., but anything over 50 is considered larger in Hawaii. It’s easier to do it on Oahu because you have the hotels, you have the accommodations, the, you have a bigger variety of things to choose from in terms of catering and musicians and things like that. So, if you do need a little bit more variety or you have a larger wedding where you need to house more people, it makes more sense to do it on Oahu. There’s obviously something for everyone there as well. So if that’s the way you want to go, then I would go Oahu.

If you want something a little bit more laid back and you have a smaller group, Maui is a little more expensive, probably by about 20 to 25%. But it is definitely a little bit more luxurious. Oahu is, it has a little bit more city vibe. It doesn’t have that. It’s very relaxing, tropical. It’s really beautiful. It’s a lot, it’s a lot less touched than Oahu. So you’re, you’re in Oahu. Definitely. It’s, it’s like a well-oiled machine, right? Maui is definitely a little bit more low-key in terms of just the amount, right? The sheer amount of weddings that you can do there. But it’s better for smaller, it’s better for if you’re going a little bit more luxury and have a little bit more budget. And then also, like, yeah, luxury, luxuries is key in Maui.

And then Kauai is more for your adventure brides. It’s, there’s lots of hiking, you can do elopements on the side of mountains. There’s helicopter packages for elopements and micro weddings and things like that. But it’s definitely for your more adventurous brides that enjoy all of the elements and everything that an outdoor wedding has to offer.

Matt: Great. It’s not very, I wouldn’t go if you’re going luxury, Hawaii is probably not what you’re going for, but if you’re going adventure, interesting, crazy backdrops, mountains, mountain views, and things like that, then Kauai is your, is your, should be your island of choice. So they’re all very, very different. And you wouldn’t think that they’re all, it’s just a 10-minute flight to get to any one of them if you’re coming from Oahu. But there’s, there’s something for everybody. If you, depending on what you’re looking for.

Matt: Have you been to Hawaii, Matt?

Matt: I have not. Oh goodness. You gotta go. It’s great for musicians. Oh my goodness. My goodness. It’s on my to-do list. If we do a cruise, we want to, we want to do a cruise Hawaii that stops. So that way you’re spending the day on the island and then sleeping on the ship.

Chavah: Right, right, right. Yeah, that’s definitely the way to go.

Tips for Planning a Hawaiian Destination Wedding

Matt: So let’s say I’m in Las Vegas and I’m planning a destination wedding to Hawaii. What would you recommend just to make those experiences extra special?

Chavah: Yeah. Hawaii is a very interesting place if, now if you’re talking in terms of wedding or you’re just talking in terms of a wedding.

Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chavah: So Hawaii is very interesting because it’s very, it is very relationship-based in the wedding community. And it’s very, everyone runs on Aloha time, right? It’s, it’s very relaxed. It’s definitely not like, if you go to New York, LA, Dallas, any of these Vegas, any of these bigger cities where everyone is hustling and they’re working very quickly, it’s not like that in Hawaii. So my first tip for anyone is one, just understand that off the bat there. They’re a little bit slower. They run on Aloha time, which is kind of a more leisurely pace. Because weddings are consistent across the board. That’s another reason why they run pretty even keel because they know that it’s, it’s just constant, right? There’s a constant flow of people coming in. So you just have to know that up front so that that doesn’t frustrate you. Everyone is amazing. The customer service and everything is great. It just is a little slower. So knowing that up front is helpful for people because I’ve had a lot of brides that come to me and, “Oh, they haven’t responded in three days.”

They are doing things, they are working, but it just takes a little bit of extra time. So knowing that creates a little bit of a, it kind of eases, eases some anxiety knowing that it is getting done. It will get done. You will get your contract, all of that fun stuff. But Hawaii just, they just run on different, different speed, they might be surfing in the morning and reading their emails. So just knowing that’s helpful. So that’s, that’s one number one.

The other thing it is, in other places you can get away with, if you do not live on the island, you can get away with not having a planner or not having a contact on island, but if you’re not on island, it is definitely helpful. And I’m, I’m saying this from even from a non, I know that I’m a planner, but even from a non-bias standpoint, I could, I could be a day-of coordinator and it was perfectly fine because you, your bride was able to make contact and things would happen. But in Hawaii, because it is so relationship-driven, it is helpful to get a planner up front because not only will they know how you can save money, how you, a lot of times you can save more money having a planner because they know the people and the place. There’s a lot of people that don’t even have. There’s a lot of businesses that don’t even have websites in Hawaii because they’ve just, they’ve been able to connect with the planner and the planners do, do everything for them and even sometimes contracts for specific vendors will go through planners.

So, planners definitely are the key to having a successful event if you are planning from afar, because they, there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes things that you would just not know that are very specific to Hawaii, especially when it comes to licensing in certain places, ’cause a lot of things are outdoors, right? So where you can and can’t do things, there’s photography that you can and can’t take in certain places because there are sacred places. So just all of those little nuanced things that you, those problems that you wouldn’t run into in other places, you’ll run into in Hawaii. So knowing, being able to circumvent a lot of that stress before it happens, because I’ve had people that have come on island that have used day-of services and there’s a lot of pieces missing ’cause they just didn’t know, right? They don’t know what they don’t know. And it’s just different. The culture and the way things are run, it’s just a little bit different there. So having, even if it’s not a full-on planner, but having a contact or connect on island that can kind of guide you through some of those things will be massively helpful. Save you a lot of stress. So those two things, just knowing the timing and then having a contact, I recommend it be a planner. But if I know for, for budget bride, sometimes that’s not always the most conducive and doesn’t work necessarily for their budgets, then at least having, if you book your photographer or somebody else up front that can kind of be that connection point on the island is going to also be your best bet and save you a lot of stress in the end.

Legalities and Cultural Considerations

Matt: Speaking of licensing, you brought that up. Is there different, legalities between the islands and the places? Can you talk a little bit more?

Chavah: Surprisingly? Yeah, there is. So we are kind of a rock in the middle of the ocean and in the Pacific, right? So we are, there’s military bases and some military things. Because we are the central hub in the middle of the ocean, in between Japan and some other countries. So even, even drone shots and different things like that. There’s a lot of little legalities that are different for different parts of the island, different islands themselves. So there’s a lot of little nuanced things like that, specifically when it comes to photography, sacred places, grounds that you are, are, are allowed or not allowed to be on at certain times and things like that. And then the military component too. So, yeah, there’s a lot of little nuanced stuff in different parts of the island and on the different islands. So it’s, it’s super helpful to be able to either research some of that stuff before. Or, like I said, have, have a person on island that can help you do that. Because even some of the different venues, there’s a really great venue on the south part of the island. But it’s, it is a, it is actually considered a sacred place. And so there’s certain days that you can and can’t do things and stuff like that. So, there, the culture is super, super important. And if you don’t respect that, then you’ll have a problem on your hands. But because it’s so different, there’s just things that you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t know unless you have someone that can, that can be that connection piece that is aware of all those things.

Matt: That’s really interesting. Even thinking of Jamaica, I want, I want to get married on the top of a hill that could happen the same way in Hawaii and you have to.

Chavah: Yeah. Respect where that’s going to happen. Yeah. Be very cognizant of those things. Yeah. They were even, this is outside of weddings, but they were putting a telescope on the top of a mountain. I’m not sure if you heard of that, heard that a couple of years ago. And that was a whole big thing too, because that mountain was considered sacred and nothing commercial and they were going to drill and all kinds of things. So, yeah, there’s a lot, a lot, a lot of areas that are very special and considered sacred and that you can either have small ceremonies, but you can’t set things up and just, all those, all those nuances that you just would never think about.

The Curated Wedding

Matt: Interesting. So I know you moved to Vegas. I have to ask because they always bring up Vegas as being one of the other islands as part of Hawaii. That one of the reasons you moved here?

Chavah: No, actually. Hawaii during the pandemic, Hawaii was obviously very, it was a very difficult. And so this is ends up being a very good hub for me because I do destination events and things all over, all over the planet. So this ended up being a really good midway spot for me, spot in between LA, which I do a lot of events and things in LA and, keeping up with everyone that all my clients and, and things that I have in Hawaii. So that’s why it, it just ended up being a really good spot that through the pandemic, it was, it was helpful to land here. So yeah, it’s, it’s a hop, skip and a jump away from Hawaii. So that makes it very easy for me. So, but you’re right. I did. I didn’t realize that until I got here, you can, you can have Hawaiian food anytime you want. That’s also why I was like, I got to stay here. This is perfect.

Matt: So is there something that we missed today that you want to share about Hawaiian weddings or, or anything to help couples plan their weddings?

Chavah: I don’t know if we did, we tell you about the curated wedding.

Matt: No, no. Okay, great.

Chavah: So basically, I made another product throughout the pandemic because my TikTok really blew up. People were trying to figure out how to navigate through everything that was COVID and how long and where and how all that fun stuff. So, I realized how many people really need a contact that they can talk to on a normal basis, but don’t necessarily need someone to take the reins and plan the whole thing, right? And so, but having a contact in the very beginning to steer them in the right direction is, is super helpful. But I was trying to figure out what the happy medium was. I’m not a full planner, ’cause I want to be budget-friendly and I understand what a respect, you guys have the whole rest of your lives to worry about money. Let’s not make that, let’s not start there. So I made this product called the Curated Wedding, which is basically a wedding membership site where people have access. I go on lives once a week and also have a digital twin on there. That’s got all my resources that I’ve developed so that people can, they have a way to ask the questions to get advice to, have all the planning tools and things that they need, things that I’ve used and have developed over the last 20 years. So it’s a place where they can get all those things without spending the money to be able to have, ’cause my, my full, full service planning is, is around 6,000, 7,000 depending on where you are. And that doesn’t make sense for a lot of people. So I tried to encapsulate everything that I do, all the tools that I use, and then even me, right? To be able to help those, those brides that do need to me, but can’t necessarily afford it. It’s called the Curated Wedding. We didn’t launch too long ago. We launched in the middle of the pandemic, and then I’ve kind of revamped it now that I’ve created a bunch of more tools, but there’s some really great resources in there. One, the tools, right? But the really great part is the lives that you have with me. So you’re you are able to ask this question to an actual planner. The A.I. tool where that is my digital twin. So all of my resources and everything that I’ve learned over the last 20 years is all jam-packed into that. But then there’s also, I think that we’ve created called the swap marketplace, and it’s a completely free marketplace because everyone knows people are buying things and they use them one time and then they go in a box or they never see them again or they try to sell them or whatever the case is. But everyone’s using these things, most of these things, table numbers and centerpieces and sometimes glassware and dresses and all kinds of stuff. And they’re just, they just kind of are packed away and go to die or they, they’re just not ever utilized again. So we create a swap marketplace where people can put their things on there for free. So they can either trade things or, there’s no money exchange though. So it’s completely free. So you can trade things or you, after your wedding is done, you can give it away, you can put it on there or you can even decide to collaborate. Right? So lots of people have lots of October weddings. Their color scheme is normally all wine colors or oranges and different things like that. So there’s a lot of ways that brides can collaborate on, okay, you buy the table numbers and I’ll buy the glassware and then your wedding is this weekend, my wedding is this, we’ll swap, you know what I mean? So you’re, you’re able to do things like that with this community of brides. So that you can, it’s just another way for you to be able to save money because like I said, how many times are you going to use those table numbers, so that’s what the chargers. Yeah. Right. The chargers. Yeah. Oh my gosh. The chargers for sure. But yeah, like, if you’re doing a spring wedding, there’s, there’s a color scheme. Or at least a palette that you’re probably choosing from. If you’re doing a winter wedding, there’s palettes you probably choosing from. So having these sister brides that are doing similar things, it just, it’s another way for people to be able to one collaborate and have a battle buddy. But then also save money. ‘Cause that is people’s number one concern when they’re planning their wedding is the, is the budget part of that. So it’s just another way for them to be able to save money.

Connecting with Chavah Grant

Matt: So how do they find the Curated Wedding?

Chavah: Sure. I can link it’s www.thecuratedwedding.com.

Matt: Awesome. Yeah. And before we go, how can listeners connect with you?

Chavah: Sure. I am on Instagram. I am on TikTok. If you want like quick little tips, TikTok is the best way. It is Vida Chic Events, V I D A, C H I C events. And then I’m Vida Chic events all over the internet. So anytime you want to find me, I am there and I’m pretty active. So DME or email me, all my information is all there.

Matt: Awesome. Well, thanks, Chavah, for joining the show today and your insights into Hawaiian weddings.

Chavah: Thanks, Matt.

Matt: Thanks, everybody, for listening. Stay tuned for next week for another episode of the Wedding Songs Podcast. Have a great day.